Are You Noisy?

Out of consideration to the performers and your neighbors, do not eat, drink, or chew gum during the performance. It's too noisy and distracting. Save the snacking for before the show, intermissions, or after the performance.

Many theatres do not allow refreshments anywhere except in lobby areas. Before you buy or bring food and drink, be sure you understand the rules for that theatre and performance. If you're already at the theatre, ask any usher if you need to know the rules.

Some theatres allow you to pre-order refreshments for intermission before the show. That can be a great way to avoid the long lines!

If required, quietly unwrap cough suppressants before the performance begins, at intermission, during applause, laughing, or loud musical numbers. If you know you will need them, unwrap a sufficient supply to last to the next break.

If you have an uncontrollable bout of coughing, take it to the lobby. You can often hear and watch the show on lobby monitors.

Don't Get Physical

As I was preparing this entry, a friend coincidentally posted this on Facebook:

"Enjoyed the Carmina Burana, but I can't stand people who go to musical performances and insist on pretending THEY'RE conducting the orchestra. Put your hands down, you poseur!"

Do not talk, whisper, sing, hum, or audibly beat time with any body part during the performance. Listening is important because you will be hearing performers doing their best to entertain you. It’s important that you listen very well so you don’t miss anything and you don’t disturb others around you.

Avoid rummaging in purses, backpacks, or shopping bags; thumbing through programs; or any other noise-making activities during the show. When the performance starts, for instance when the lights go down, the curtain rises or the overture is being played, it’s time to be quiet.

If someone is being loud or annoying, start by turning, facing them directly, and glaring. This is completely silent, and generally alerts most offenders that they're being offensive. The next step is a sharp "Shh!" or a sotto voce, "Please be quiet." Do not escalate any further than this yourself. Alert an usher or house manager and let them deal with the offender.

Enjoy Being Unplugged

You should turn off cell phones, pagers, watch alarms, radios, MP3 players, iPads, and other electronic devices. Vibrate settings are often very loud in a quiet theatre, so it is better if you turn your phone off. If you forgot to turn off your phone and it rings during the performance, immediately turn it off, do not answer the call.

Do not send or receive text messages, read your email, surf the Internet, use your cell phone as a flashlight to read the program, or use your electronic devices at all during the performance. One of these devices can light up a very large area in a dark theatre. You can always check for messages or use your devices during the intermission or after the show.

Do not use cameras, video/audio recorders, or other recording devices (including cell phones, PDAs, and IPods) during the performance. Besides being distracting to performers and other guests, it is usually against the law to record any professional performance, including the sets, props, and costumes, without obtaining explicit written permissions from the production company and others before the show. In many theatres, recording devices must be checked at the cloak room and are not allowed inside the house.

Sometimes, there are exceptions to these rules. I heard recently of a play that encouraged the audience to tweet about the show during the performance as part of the artistic concept. However, until you find out otherwise, you should assume that you will turn off all of your electronic devices inside the theatre.

Get What You Need

Theatre seats are usually staggered so that no one is directly in front of you. However, if your view is totally blocked by a tall person in front of you, get a booster cushion for your chair, or ask the usher to find you another seat before the performance begins.

Booster seats, cushions, assistive devices, lap blankets, binoculars, or other items may be available, sometimes for a rental fee, from the theatre. Check with the cloak room or an usher before the show if you need something. You might even check your coat, hat, backpack, or other large item so you don’t have to deal with them in your seat.

Also remember, if you wear big hats or hair, you could be blocking the view of the guests behind you.

Come Early, Get Ready, Enjoy Show.

At many performances, you will receive a printed program. Be sure to arrive early enough to read the program, so that you will have an idea of what to expect in the show. Also, you will find the names and information about people who are performing and helping to put on the show. Read the credits to learn more about the people and the performance. It will make the show more enjoyable and you’ll learn things that might surprise you.

Take care of personal needs (drinks of water or restroom breaks) before the show, because typically you won’t be able to leave your seat until the intermission or until the performance ends. When you do leave your seat, you become subject to the late-seating rules for that performance and may not be re-seated immediately.

Two Sources of Red Eyes

Most theatres either prohibit smoking (and other use of tobacco products) or restrict such activity to specific areas, often outside the building. Local ordinances or fire codes can also apply. If you have questions about these rules, ask any usher.

Theatres selling or otherwise providing alcoholic beverages are subject to related laws and regulations. Minimum drinking age or hours of sale limits, along with restrictions on where alcohol can be within or outside the facility are examples of typical limitations. In many areas, theatres are required to quit selling alcohol to individuals who appear inebriated. Another consideration is the lack of balance caused by alcohol. Most theatres have steps, stairs, ramps, or other uneven surfaces that can be difficult to navigate. These conditions can cause a serious fall or other injuries for the unsteady of foot. If you've been drinking and are ready to leave, please do not drive. Most theatres are prepared to call you a cab if you don't already have a designated driver. If you have questions about the use of alcohol in a theatre or need assistance with transportation, ask a server or usher for assistance.

Take your seat, please!

An usher will usually greet you and ask for your ticket. With a general admission ticket, you typically get to pick your own seat. If your ticket has a row and seat number, the usher will check the number and direct you to your assigned seating. Be sure to sit in the seat you purchased or were given so that you don’t cause confusion for other audience members.

In larger and some smaller theatres, the layout of seating can be confusing. These houses could have multiple levels with confusing names like orchestra, parterre, mezzanine, loggia, or balcony. Seats could be arranged in sections called left, center, right, upper, or lower. Entry doors for these sections are sometimes numerous. If you don't know how to find your seat, look for the nearest usher and ask for assistance. They are usually trained to answer your request with quick but easy to follow directions. If these directions are unclear, ask for clarification. It is in everyone's best interests that you find your seats quickly.